 During the last World Cup, when I was working on a national newspaper, the editor asked us reporters if we had any story ideas ahead of England’s crunch clash with Brazil.
Amid suggestions that we be jetted out to Rio on an all expenses paid trip to see what the locals were thinking, one bright spark said the only thing that could save Sven’s men was if it poured with rain. (England had been struggling with the stifling heat – much as they are now).
Keen to get on with his employers, the said reporter suggested he dress up as a Red Indian and do a rain dance. He duly did so much to the bemusement of various passers-by in central London. And much to do the dismay of his fellow scribblers, who wondered who’d be next in the ‘dressing-up-like-a-prat-for-a-needless-photo-opportunity’ stakes.
Bizarrely, it would seem Ecuador have similar pre-match preparations. I was talking to one of their fans over a coffee this morning and it seems such shenanigans are not just the stuff of tabloid tomfoolery.
In hushed, almost reverential tones, he leant forward and explained that football chiefs back home had employed a shaman to rid Germany’s 12 stadium’s of any lurking evil spirits prior to the team’s arrival in the country.
He wasn’t aware if any had been found, but he was mightily relieved that no ghosts or ghouls were going to knock his lads off their stride. The place had been purified.
The shaman’s name, should you need to look him up in the Quito Yellow Pages, is Tzamarenda Naychapi. Now I don’t know how far Mr Naychapi’s powers extend, but he may be of some use to our own FA in the future. It would certainly make a novel line at press conferences.
“Well lads, thanks for joining us for our first game at the new Wembley (some time in the next decade you understand, depending on when the world’s greatest builders of sporting stadia finally finish).
We’ve got a lot of respect for our opponents who come here with a great record. They’re a talented bunch of lads but if we keep it tight at the back and pass it around in midfield I’m confident we can get a victory. That and the fact Tzamarenda’s had a good scout round behind the burger vans and chased off all the bogie men.”
Can you imagine ?
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