Bet on England

My best mate Ian was known as ‘Eegie’ for the first few years of his life because his big brother Phil couldn’t pronounce his name. It doesn’t strike me as being terribly difficult, but I'm sure it's as hard as Bartholomew or Balthazar to a two-year-old. I can see why Ricardo might be a problem though, even if you’re Brazilian. And that’s why the elder sibling of one future Samba Star chose to name his bro Kaka instead. Funny how these things stick.

Whatever you want to call him, he’s now a damn fine player. And what a goal he scored last night. We always hear tell of the three R’s up front but he’s as good as any of them if you ask me, even if he can’t eat an apple through a tennis racket like Ronaldinho or as many pies as Ronaldo. Former Brazil coach Vanderlei Luxemburgo agrees. I read recently that old Vanders described him as having “the technique of a Brazilian and the physical qualities of a European. He’s the standard bearer of the modern game.” No pressure then Kaka son, just you go out there and enjoy yourself!

I have to say I enjoyed myself watching them last night, but I was expecting a few more goals. I was also expecting a few more gratuitous shots of good looking Brazilian women in the crowd. I don’t know about back home, but the producer on the German channel I was watching refused even once to home in on a bikini clad lovely in the stand. Surely no World Cup is complete without a lingering look accompanied by John Motson saying something like: “Well Mark, there are fans and there are Brazilian fans. I’m not surprised they’re going loco down in Acapulco – have you seen the Copacabana’s on her!” (Not that Acapulco's in Brazil, you understand).

Sadly, It was left to the Croatian fans to provide the value with their constant singing, crazy flare lighting and solitary pitch invasions. Credit where credit's due, but they weren't nearly as sexy. And I know my mate Ian wouldn't have been impressed.He's never invaded a pitch (or been caught on camera in a bikini), but he was last heard of gracing one for Little Eaton second IX in the Beauvale Midlands Regional Alliance (Division Five). He’s not a standard bearer for anything, unless you count Vodka and Red Bull. And to big Phil he’ll always be ‘Eegie’....